We went to Luau Night at the pool Friday. There was Hawiian music, and Hawiian burgers (which looked suspiciously lik regular burgers), and Bingo — which the wife won! — and all manner of exotic Polynesian delicacies. I ask you, what else could wish for in the summer of record breaking heat and humidity (besides, perhaps, so not so record-breaking heat and humdity)?

Cats That Look Like Hitler

I love that radio show THIS AMERICAN LIFE, but it’s not on when I’m in the car, and I don’t want to sit at home and listen to the Real Audio version for free on their website, so after they wrote a cease and desist letter to the guy who was bootlegging the shows on-line, I finally bit the bullett and subscribed to AUDIBLE.COM, where for $21/month I get every episode of TAL every week, as well as two free book downloads per month. Now I rarely have time for the book download thing because I realy only listen in the car, and half the time I’m listening to TAL and the other half I’m comparing the subtle sonic differentiation between Graham Parker and The Rumour and Vitalic’s “My Friend Dario” (which has an excellent video on MTV featuring women in spangly bikinis go-go dancing with football helmets on).

So anyway, a few weeks ago I noticed thee “two free book downloads” icon and figured what the hey, I’ll get a book. And not just any book! I wanted one of those long, unadbridged, tediously literary books. So what did I pick? Zadie Smith’s ON BEAUTY. Why? Because it was nominated for a Booker Prize, because it’s inspired by a classic book (Howard’s End, by E.M. Forster), and because it was 18 hours long. That, I said to myself, will be a book!
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Some brought charcoal and lighter fluid. Some brought fishing rods and tackle. Some brought microwave ovens and very long extension cords. Some brought flan. But all brought a spirit of frontier adventure, an American “can do” spirit, and a willingness to put themselves in an enclosed space for an extended period of time with their spouses, children, friends, brother-in-laws, subordinates, and co-workers. And what did they get for their efforts?

–Maddy caught 3 fish and got 3 tattoos
–Jake and Cam tore down the forest for firewood (and got tattoos)
–The girls got their fingernails and toenails painted
–Everyone made excellent meals in primitive conditions (it was an old microwave)
–Everyone learned something new, like how to make toss a fishing line or make a Japanese martini
–The ball that made the ice cream actually worked

Would we do it again? Of course we would! Tomorrow! Uhm, err… how about letting me check my calendar first…Meanwhile, check out our camping pics here.

How’m I doin? My sister had two different friends that died in motorcycle accidents in two months. My co-worker’s husband died in his sleep right next to her. My best friend’s Dad has cancer. I know several people, young and old, who are having trouble controlling their diet and exercise, and are at risk for Type II Diabetes. My parents don’t live near me, they’re not getting any younger, and my siblings are talking about moving away. There’s a war in the Middle East that could blow up everybody. My son had a heart operation when he was a baby and will have to have check-ups the rest of his life, watch his diet, and exercise (right now he just likes to smash things), and I won’t be around forever to make sure he does that. Everytime they mention the company I work for in the paper they talk about the possibility of it going under. My house is a cluttered mess and I can never seem to get a handle on it. My wife and I are so busy I couldn’t find the time to tell her a 15-second anecdote from THE COLBERT REPORT without the kids screaming or the phone ringing or one of us doing a chore. They evicted a guy down the street because he couldn’t pay his mortgage and threw all his stuff on the lawn. I’m reading a biography of the Rolling Stones, sleep 6 hours a night, get up and go jogging, shower, get some coffee, and start the whole thing over again.

How’m I doin’? How do you think I’m doin’?

At least according to My Heritage Face Recognition software…

You can read more about Poul Rasmussen here…

“I smashed him hard with the butt of my gun as he gurgled his words through broken teeth. Blood spewed from his mouth. I hit him again. He stopped gurgling.”
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Got this awesome recipe from the new Cook’s Country, published by my favorite hyper-obsessive cooking magazine America’s Test Kitchen. It’s better and moister than Blueberry Buckle. The recipe is right here. Save me a piece!

Gotta bit of a new look here on the site. This is strictly between you and I, but in real life I’m supposed to be a “Webmaster”, and it ocurred to me I might put some of my job skills to use on this personal endeavour. Still more changes to come, but hopefully this helps spruce up the place a bit, like moving the coffee table here and sliding the divan over there. See? It’s like a whole new room! And all with a few updates to the Cascading Style Sheet! Voila! Vive la difference!

Join us as we bid adieu to our vacation 2006. We made it back in one piece (if you don’t count psychiatric care), the Falls were still there (though the girls were more interested in the fountain across the street from them), the kids got to meet Bugs Bunny, and I for one am so grateful to be back in my nice warm safe cubicle environment away from the tormented whining of the younglings. Unless you have kids, as Jeremy Irons would say, you have no idea…

Now, in two weeks…camping!