Speaking as a happily married middle-aged father of two who still remembers being beat up and called “faggot” in High School, I have to say that I’ve started to notice a weird trend going on these days.  When I go through my adult life interacting with a lot of adult guys who remind me of those same macho type guys who called me names way back when, they all seem really into a) that movie “The 300″ (Sarah Silverman: “You know how they named the movie?  They asked people how gay it was on a scale of 1 to 10″), b) that last James Bond movie where JB is trapped naked to a chair and has his testicles repeatedly whipped, and c) sports, of course–hours and hours of sports–who does what, what their record is, how one guy just isn’t trying, etc., etc.  Now me, I gotta admit — I still like pictures of movie starlets in bikinis showing off their boobies.  So I ask you, almost 30 years after high school–who, exactly, is “gay”?

It’s getting to be a little nippy out there, in a good way, and once it starts getting cold that’s a great excuse to bring out the “hearty” soups, which taste great after playing outside and coming into a warm, nice-smelling house for dinner.  One of my favorites is Sausage Soup.  This recipe is stolen from my Mom, who I call up every three months to ask once again for the recipe which I have yet again misplaced.  The ingredients are simple and you add or eliminate what you don’t have lying around–I’ve seen it with fresh spinach added, or chick peas, or tortellinis.  (However, the sausage is a must).  It’s best with a nice loaf of crusty bread with butter and of course a nice glass of red wine.  Before you know it, you’ll be glad it’s Fall!

Ingredients: 1-2 lbs sweet Italian sausage, 1 cup chopped onions, 1 clove garlic (crushed), 2 cups celery (chopped), 2 green peppers (diced), 2 lbs zucchini squash (sliced thin), (2) 28 oz. cans crushed or whole tomatoes, 2 cups red wine, 2 tsp salt, 1 tsp Italian seasoning, 1 tsp oregano, 1 tsp sugar, 1 tsp dried basil.

Cut open the sausage skin and brown sausage in a soup pot or dutch oven.   Add onions and celery, saute until soft.  Drain any fat.  Add green peppers, zucchini, and seasonings.  Saute briefly.  Add tomatoes, wine, bring to a boil then reduce heat and let simmer with lid on for at least 30 mins and up to two hours.  Spoon into soup bowls, sprinkle grated cheese.  Enjoy!

DEAD AT 79

heart attack

Just take this test.

Now that our son is old enough to be “into” certain toys and clothes and movies, we have, once again, been watching TOY STORY and TOY STORY 2 about one hundred million zillion times per week.  (Our older daughter is nine and pretty much prefers one hundred thousand gazllion bajillion episodes of HANNAH MONTANA).  And the more I watch TOY STORY and its sequel, I do have to say that they are certainly two of the best movies for children ever made.  There is just so much to these movies, they are so many facets — of storytelling, of character development, of discussions on the meaning of one’s existence, of humour.  How many other kids movies grapple with the concept of obsolescence (of toys, of childhood)?  How many other kids movies bluntly face the awfulness of some kids (Sid, the boy who blows up toys in TS1)?  Just the very concept of the “world” of toys, the idea that toys have feelings and emotions and anxieties (how many other movies are there where toys have dream sequences?).    There are very few SHREK-like “jokes for adults to laugh along with” in these movies–they really dig for a deeper core.  Like Buzz says, “Would you rather be loved by a child, or spend the rest of your days living a glass display case?” 

So if you haven’t seen TOY STORY 1 or 2 in a while, see it again.  It you haven’t seen them at all, check ‘em out.  Better yet, get married, have a kid, wait three years, and then watch it twice a day every day until your eyes bleed, like us.  You’ll be glad you did!  To infinity…and beyond!!

 This week my daughter has the MEAP tests, and since she lives to follow rules, she insisted on following the Teacher’s instructions and getting up extra early to have a “complete” breakfast to have enough energy for the tes.  She also had very specific breakfast requirements - cheese eggs, toast, and “turkey bacon”, which she learned to love during a trip to her Aunt, who disavows anything pork-like, and which I purchased specifically for her.

So, being the good Dad I aspire to be, I of course made sure to get everything ready extra-early.  The cheese eggs were a snap.  Toast went into the toaster.  But this turkey bacon …I mean, have you seen this stuff?  It like a simulacrum of bacon.  It’s like that scene in David Cronenberg’s THE FLY where Seth Brindle attempts to recreate a steak through his transporter, and even though it “looks” like a steak, it makes Geena Davis gag.

I mean, what is it with vegetarians and health conscious people and their need to “recreate” healthy, tasteless versions of unhealthy foodstuffs?  There are vegetarian hot dogs, “veggie burgers” (oh how I hate that term), even “Toferky”, a tofu-based turkey hologram or something.  I mean, what the heck is up with that?  Were you so addicted to consuming  food products in a tube or patty like delivery vehicle you just had to make a vegetarian version?  I mean, do meat eaters insist on meat cucumbers, or pork-matoes?  If you’re gonna commit, commit!

I’m not saying you should eat bad food every day.  Everything in moderation.  Real bacon once in a while–cream of wheat the rest of the time (slathered in butter and sugar, of course).  Have a steak.  I like tofu–just not in the shape of a chicken leg.  Have the tofu another day.  Have it every day but Tuesday.  But for Pete’s sake, man–keep it real!  Don’t mock the meat with a pale, slavish, taseless imittation (Can you say diet Pop tart?) You’re not an android yet, so don’t act like one.

 Now if you’ll excuse me, i have to go prepare for tomorrow’s MEAP meal–chocolate chip pancakes…

The Coopster turned three and had a few parties. He got two Woodys, some Bob, and a plethora of Buzz. And all in the record breaking 89 degree Indian Summer. Yikes! More pix are here.