From Atrium Floor Project

Wife said it was time to rip out the old ugly ceramic tile in the entryway and expose the pretty wood floor underneath.  After all, what else are we doing with our time?  Only took 8 or so hours over three days, and very few injuries, mostly to me.  Next up:  Refinishing.  God help us all.

From Painting

Holidays are coming, relatives are coming over, so of course now is the time to get off your lazy butt ans do all the stuff you’ve been meaning to do for the past six months, like paint the dining room.  The lady who used to own our house fancied herself an “artiste”, so each room has it’s own “special”, “artistic” qualities, a.k.a. Ladies like it (“Hey!  She painted a rooster on the wall!”)and Guys don’t (“Why don’t you just paint over this sh*t?”).  The dining room was one of the worst offenders, because the lower half of the wall under the wainscoting was a shade of green normally only seen in badly maintained aquariums.

So, freshly rested and over the worst of my bronchitis this weekend, I tok all the furniture out, taped, primed, and started the uber-project.   Even got the kids involved.  Almost done, too.  Just have to finish the second coat on the bottom half, and put in new outlets, do trim, etc.  But it’ll be done in time for the relatives, I swear it.

Next–kitchen back-splash.  After all–that project is only 18 months overdue!

It’s my fault, really.  First my daughter wanted to go to the dreaded “Build A Bear” to spend $40 on a stuffed animal that she’d throw on the floor with the three thousand other stuffed animals two days later.  So I said “No, let’s design and make our own stuffed animals.”  Which she’s been doing, learning sewing skills, drawing, marketing them to her classmates, buying fabric.  Then she’s outside this weekend, and wants to use this cruddy piece of plywood for a “bench” outside, and Dad says “Oh no, I can build you one much nicer than that!”  And so then I’m stuck actually doing it!  Aargh!   

You can find the plans at this excellent site.  I took the recommendations of several people on the site and changed the slant of the backrest to 15 degrees from 10, and used shorter bolts, which I intend to cover so no one scrapes themselves.  I’ve also been advised by the pros in my office to screw a support slat to the center of on the seat and back to prevent warpage over time.  It took me approximately 3 hours to make.  I used a simple electric miter saw and an 1/2 drill bit.  Oh, and the sweat of my manly brow.  Next up…an ark!  More exciting pictures are here. 

The Wife and I have installed about ten or so faucets over the years, and we just did another one in the kitchen this weekend.  If you’ve never done it, it’s actually rather easy, and very satisfying.  But I would be lying if i didn’t say that we always run into a few hiccups, and this one was no different .  Here are some quick tips on how to make for an easy (and non-marriage threatening) faucet installation:

1. Read the instructions.  Twice.  And while you’re at it, read them again.  And not just you–have the other person read them.  Wed got everything installed, and the spray hose had a tiny leak, and it turned out to be because yours truly forgot to hand his wife a simple rubber washer.  Argh!
2. Test the connections before you start.  We had a smaller connector on the new faucet than the old faucet, and had to make a last-minute trip to Ace hardware to get the (very common) adapters,  make sure you have a simple adjustable wrench, and some silicon tape, and a flashlight.  Total cost for all these items?  $10.00.
3. Shut-off valves:  make sure you have turned off the shut-off valves, and that those shut-off valves work.  If they don’t, make sure to shut off the downstream water in the basement and lower floor bathrooms.  We had a cold-water valve that wasn’t shutting all the way, and a tiny bit of water was coming it, which it made it difficult to make the connection, and we had to re-do it.
4. Be realistic.  We have always had a water pressure issue due to older pipes in the house.  That is one of things we hope to renovate over the next few years, replacing the old iron pipes with PVC or copper.  But just because you have a pretty new faucet doesn’t mean that your water will suddenly come out faster.  But it is pretty–even if it looks like the Silver Surfer’s penis.

So I come home after a long day and I ask the Wife “Wouldn’t it be nice to take the kids and walk to the pool?”, to which she replies “Wouldn’t it be nice if you bought a replacement belt for the attic fan and installed it in the sweltering heat?” to which I said “Sure!”

We needed a 52″ “V-belt”, so I let my fingers do the walking.  Ace Hardware had none, a representative from Home Depot proudly told me they sold attic fans but had no replacement parts for those fans (why on earth would a home improvement store sell replacement parts, anyway?), and a confused lady at Auto Zone told me unless I had a catalog number (instead of the mystical riddle “52 inch fan belt”) she could not help me, but the awesome folks at Murray’s Discount Auto not only had it, but set it aside for me, and Coop and I picked it up in about 10 minutes for six bucks.

For those of you who have never installed an attic fan belt, you can’t just loop on a new belt between the big wheel that turns the fan and the little wheel on the motor, because they are far enough apart to make the tension to keep the belt on.  Instead, you have to loosen the bolts holding the motor platform to the two rods on either side, sliiiide the motor platform up, attach the belt, then push the motor belt down and re-secure the bolts.   And all his in the sweltering, shadowy, insulation-filled loveliness of your attic.  Piece of cake!

20 minutes later I was done and the fan was working.  There are still some issues with the ceiling vent opening fully when the fan is running (we are theorizing the vents themselves, which seem to be custom-made, may be too heavy to be opened up by the wind pressure), but the manly part is complete (or was complete once I vacuumed up the mess from the insulation out of my closet, stripped off my filthy attic clothes, and took a long shower).

Next up:  Moving the entire house six degrees to the East to improve our Feng Shui. 

The short answer is: No, we’re not done yet.

However, that being said, we should note:
–The sink and oven work
–We have cabinets holding dishes
–The dishwasher is washing dishes
–The wine caddy has wine bottles in it
–We are closer to the end than to the beginning

It should also be noted that, in the Ikea video that demonstrates how easy everything is to install, those cute children and the dog that come into the empty room with Mom and Dad at the beginning? They are nowhere to be seen for the rest of the video. Nor is there any indication of the parents being President of the Swedish PTA, or in charge of the Swedish High School Science Department. That’s all I’m sayin’….

You can see even more details here.

Wrote this post on IKEAFANS, an invaluable resource if you’re installing your own stuff. Got a lot of good responses from people, since I was honest enough to talk about how many stupid mistakes I had made.

Meanwhile, the project goes on — counteryops cut, two counterstops levelled and screwed, spice cabinet complete, huge pan cabinet set. Fixed the stove so it no longer leaks deadly natural gas. (I won’t go into details, it’s all too painful..) Next up: Finishing the wall cabinets and setting up the big-ass pantry next to the fridge. Who knows…in 2008, this should look pretty nice!
Read the rest of this entry »

I know previous posts have waxed philosophical and and positive on the joys of learning to perform your own home improvements. But coming off weekend of enormous stress, and just so people think I’m not entirely brainwashed by this self-help learn-through-the-joy-of-work happy horsesh*t, I thought now might be a good time to jot down just five of the many reasons NOT to even think of attempting performing your own home repairs:

1) IT TAKES TIME: It takes a lot of time. Time you don’t necessarily have. Time you could be spending with your children and family. Time you could be wasting by watching TV or surfing the interweb Time you could taking a nap. Time you could be using to relax so you don’t get stressed and yell at those same wife and kids whom you profess to love and care for and used as excuse to begin this project that never ends. And when you do finally get some rest, late at night, you will spend hours staring at the ceiling, thinking about your obsession.

2) IT’S NEVER GOOD ENOUGH: When you do it yourself, because of your relative inexperience, you are always hyper-aware that you don’t know exactly what you are doing, and so that magnifies every single mistake that you make (and you will make mistakes, many of them, both big and little), whether it be dropping a rip bar and making a gouge in the floor that will soon go unnoticed, or the time you had to re-drill those holes because you read the instructions wrong because the kids wanted attention from the person who had brought them into this world, or wondering if you will be killing your family by installing the gas line to the stove yourself. Things that, had you hired “professionals” to do this, that they might not have made or, if they had made them, you probably wouldn’t even notice. But not you. No, you’ll spend every moment thinking about them. People will say “It’s beautiful! You did this all yourself?” and you’ll say, inside, “Yeah, but what about the ugly Sawz-all hole in the bottom of the sink cabinet?”

3) YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH OTHER PEOPLE: You don’t know everything, so you ask for help. And other people are generous enough the help you, and share their time and expertise. Except that that they won’t do it “your way” (even though you’ve never done it before, so you don’t even have a “way”, unless by way you mean obsessively researching and worrying and fretting and never actually getting anything done), and not on your timetable, and they don’t necessarily listen to you, and they ask for tools you don’t have or can’t find, and they’ll make a joke and you’ll be oversensitive because you feel stupid enough as it is, and their professional opinion is always different from what you read in the book and on the web, and… Am I getting my point across here? They are other people who are not you!

4) YOU WILL START TO QUESTION REALITY: Once you do your own project, and see how your own house is jury-rigged together with tape and wire and plaster and any number of “non-code compliant” items, and you see how your more experienced friends cut corners to get the project done, and you look at your own work which strangers praise but you know better, you start to wonder: Is anything “right”? Is anything built “correctly”? Does it matter? Once you cross through that looking glass you lose the calm sense you get by hiring a “professional”, because you start to realize that in 90% of the cases, these profssionals really don’t know more than you do, and they are just taking a stab at it, just like you! Is there a gold standard for anything?

5) It’s is always easier just not to do anything, ever.

Now, that being said — doesn’t this corner cabinet with lazy-susan look awesome? And you know what–I did it all myself!!

Those of you who follow this blog (and don’t you have anything more meaningful to do with your time, anyway?) know that am four months into my kitchen remodeling project, which includes but is not exclusve to:

–Ripping out three layers of old flooring down to subfloor and installing new wood floor (complete)
–Repainting (pretty much complete)
–Removing all old cabinets and counteryops (complete)
–Ripping out wall section, re-wirig electrical, replacing with Hardi-backer for backsplash tile (in progress)
–Installing all new Ikea cabinets and countertops (in progress)
–Installing undercabinet lighting (next few months)

Had I ever done any of this stuff before? No I had not. Did I have any idea how to do it? Yes I did, by talking to people (especially my neighbor) and a lot of web-based research. Did I have the necessary tools? No, I borrowed my neighbor’s or went to Lowe’s. Did it go like I expected it to go? If by moments of sheer unadulterated panic, then yes, it has gone exactly according to plan.

I’ve been reading this excellent book called HEAT, a biography of an amatuer chef who went to work at Mario Balto’s New York restaurant to find out all the things he did not know, which fill up this book. Most aspiring chefs will work for free in an established three or four star restaurant as a “kitchen slave”, doing whatever the Chef tells them to do for up to three years, learning the trade from the bottom up (chopping onions for two months straight, for instance.) We have all seen movies about interns in hospitals, or read about that moron Donald Trumps’s APPRENTICE TV show. But now, after almost four months of this, I am starting to think there really is something to this whole sink-or-swim-uncontrollable-panic thing.

I can safely say that I have learned more about home improvement from these past few months than I had ever known in my life. Not just physically and intellectually, but emotionally. (Though my helpful neighbor, who I yelled at last week over a minor construction issue, may disagree with that…) I am also nominally more confident about doing certain jobs, and a lot more confident about destroying things. And I don’t think I would be as confident or would learned as much without the pressure that comes with doing a large project. I have felt the same way about computer programming at my job, and learning to be a good husband and Dad With great responsibility comes great fear, and the opportunity for greater knowledge. And more spectacular failures!

I was talking to a friend about this, and I had to say that it reminded me in part of my mis-spent youth, where you ask yourself “What about one more [insert legal or illegal substance here]? Could I handle it?” or other related actvities that we now look back on as adults in our “What Was I Thinking?” mode. Hopefully though, these little projects are not based on self-destructive impluses, but on a desire to keep stretching and learning and challenging myself. The people I respect and admire the most always keep trying new things and opening themselves up to new experiences, even when it’s not in their comfort zone. And hopefully I’m mature enough to have a back-up plan in case things don’t turn out like I expected…

Anyway, enough yappin’. Where’d I put the Sawz-All?

We’re getting closer and closer to our new kitchen. We know the new style, we know most of the cabinets we want… Now we just have to purchase and install ourselves. Which means removing the existing cabinets, laying down the rest of the floor, installing new cabinets which we’ve never done before. It should be a breeze!! Work commences during Spring Break, if we dare…